When it comes to relationships, we tend to think about whether we get along with other people in terms of their personality, characteristics, and quirks. What we forget is that we’re the other half of the equation. This is true not only as far as the alchemy of human connection goes, but also in the depth at which we are capable of understanding other people.
We experience everything we look at, and everyone we meet, through the lens of our own perception. We have a built-in filter that constantly checks our previous experiences for comparable references to our current one, to help us understand it. In the same way, our perceptions of the people we encounter are filtered through our understanding of ourselves. We see things we recognize, for better or for worse. Often, the things that challenge us most about other people are the qualities we (secretly, quietly) least admire in ourselves. Conversely, we gravitate towards people whose perspectives and values most closely mirror our own.
The more you know, the deeper you can go, and the more authentic any and all of your relationships can be, starting with the one you have with yourself. They all actually begin with that one.