You and yours

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One of the most frustrating pieces of advice to receive is the instruction to “be yourself.” Often, the reflexive internal response is “Yes, but how?” or maybe even “Which one?” When all you want to know is how to present yourself in a certain situation, “being yourself” feels like not making an effort, which – when something really matters to you – feels strangely…inauthentic. Or, inappropriate, anyway. But how else are you supposed to make the right impression? How else are you supposed to be the person you think the other party would prefer you to be?

There’s a difference between making an effort and becoming someone else. Read More


No-Fail Friday: Real deal

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In this week’s earlier post, we got out the shovel and did some digging. We went deep, y’all, and got into some big questions about what makes us tick, and why it can be so hard to just follow that beat and be ourselves. Authenticity is so magnetic in other people (even if the expression sometimes makes you wince), and yet so disconcerting when we see it in ourselves. We want it, but at the same time, we won’t let ourselves have it. At our core, we are so well-versed in self-judgment that we don’t believe our full, honest self is worth showing, much less being loved. It seems too risky to put it all out there, and ruin the carefully crafted version of ourselves we’d be more comfortable offering.

Since our weekend mindfulness challenges are “no-fail,” there’s no reason to play it safe this time, though. Read More